When a child is born, so is a mother.Julia Jones, newborn mothers
What was your birthing experience like for you?
Giving birth is one of the few moments in life that are special for everyone witnessing them. And whether your birth experience was painful or painfree, orgasmic or agonizing, long or short — it is your personal experience that no one else will ever experience just like you.
After your baby’s birth, your life will never be the same. Your baby’s needs will shake up all your plans. You might even feel powerless. Time for yourself is reduced to almost zero. Depending on your personal situation, you might feel alone with the burden of caring for this wonderful little creature.
People might ask you: How did birth go?
What do you answer? How do you feel when replying? And what do you feel deep inside about how birth went?
Talking about our birth experiences might feel weird. We feel vulnerable, and we often start to compare each other to find out who had the *better* birth experience. I hate it when women compete on who had the shortest, most painful, most extra-ordinary, longest, hardest, dangerous birth.
There is so much we can learn from each other when truly listening to our stories.
But to tell our stories to others, we first need to get them clear for ourselves.
Why should you write your birth story down?
Giving birth is transformative for the mother as well. We do not credit this experience highly enough nowadays. Friends give superficial parties instead of letting the mother safely immerse into her new situation. Doctors, employers and government officials as well as family members put stress on her instead of giving a safe space to develop and evolve.
Part of becoming a mom is reflecting on the process. It does not help to hide from it – neither for you nor for your children. Because hiding means you will never understand what happened and how this affects your everyday life.
Imagine a society in which we truly listen to our experience. A society that values and cherishes the experiences of every single mother giving birth will care about the wellbeing of mom and child a lot more than one that only cares about the “hard facts” (size, weight, name, sex, “did you get an epidural?”).
Do the first step towards this society. Value what you experienced by giving this story the space it deserves. If you want to, you can later share it with your child or with the whole world. But that is the second step. The first step is to acknowledge your experiences yourself: As the hero’s journey they were!
Be a beacon: For yourself, for your baby and for society.
Giving birth and talking about it is a hero’s journey full of love and compassion. There is nothing to hide, nothing to be ashamed of. And no one on earth experienced exactly what you did.
Birth stories are a great way to share your experience with other mothers and fathers, but first and foremost, writing your story is a way to acknowledge every single feeling you had giving birth to your baby.
Why haven’t you written your birth story yet?
Postpartum can be hard even without writing a birth story. There are several reasons — all valid and all known to me.
- You did not find the time
- Finding the words is hard
- The memories are not pleasant
- Why write — no one would read it
- You feel ashamed that giving birth did not go as you wanted it to go
All of that is true. Writing takes time. Writing when you have a newborn (and maybe older kids) to tend to seems like a waste of time. If there really is half an hour in which there are no duties, you’d probably rather sleep or take a hot bath. I feel you. I’ve been there.
Maybe you also do not know what exactly you should write. A birth story, sure — but what words should you use? Should you write a letter to your baby, explaining how everything went? Or should it rather be a letter to yourself? Or no letter at all, but more like a part of the family chronicle?
Especially if giving birth did not go as you wished for, you might not want to ever think of the experience again. You might want to forget as fast as possible; even if you know you should work through it instead hiding it deep inside you.
And, after all, no one would read it anyway. You are not going to share it with whoever asks. It’s much too intimate!
Why have me write your birth story?
For me, your birth story is not just another job.
I promise to capture, cherish, and cradle your story like you do your child.
Because not only is every birth experience worth being told, but you deserve to have your story written in a way that encompasses your compassion, your strength and your love.
I will guide you through the process. I will hold you. I will not simply hand you a questionnaire to fill out. I will be there with you when you tell. I’ll hold the space and I’ll make you feel hugged, supported and confirmed: You did whatever possible to give your child the best birth possible.
The process itself is part of the journey. By taking time for you to tell your story, your experience will resurface in your mind. We will not hurry. You’ll have time to tell, and you’ll have time let the memories come back. During all this time, I’ll keep your story safe. Whatever you tell me is safe with me. There is bo reason to justify what you did. There is no reason to leave parts out or to focus on shallow details.
I want to hear all the details, everything that you would not dare tell your friend in a cafe. My goal is to understand — not with my brain, but with my heart — every aspect of your experience.
Because your birth story is such a wonderful experience, you’ll not simply get a PDF-file with letters on it. You will recieve a beautifully layouted book that contains the story; including pictures if you wish. Your story should not be one of a million files on your computer. Your story is part of your family chronicle and will earn its place next to your favourite foto of your baby.
Hi, I’m Katharina — born 1988, raised in Germany, mom of three wild kids and an angel child.
Giving birth to my first son was hard — and part of coping with it was writing his story down. I started a blog about birth culture in 2018, where I have also been collecting birth stories.
What seemed natural to me — the desire to write down and tell the world what happened — felt an incompletable task for some of my readers, who asked me whether there was a way I could write their birth experiences down for them.
This is when I started writing birth stories for other women and families: Because I believe that every birth story is worth to be told.
The details to the deal
Having me write your birth story will cost 360 € including photos and design — no matter how long the story will be.
- We will meet online and you will tell me about your story. Plan about 60 to 90 minutes. Make yourself comfortable; have a drink and a snack. Bring your baby, if you want to. Feel free to breastfeed during our conversation.
- I will listen to your story. Don’t be afraid you won’t have anything to tell. If you really run out of ideas or do not find a way to start, I have quite some experience in asking the right questions.
- You lean back, enjoy your baby and let me to my magic. Out of everything you told me I will design a story. And while writing, I’ll notice missing details or inconsitencies. So I’ll get in touch with you: Either by E-Mail or in a second meeting. If you want my questions by E-Mail, you can write answers using mail or instant messengers; or you drop me audios. (Yes, I know it is hard to write when you have a baby in one arm and stir the food on the stove simultaneously with the other…)
- When I incorportated your replies, I will send you a first draft of your story. Take your time reading it. Take your time letting it sink in. And then, if there are parts you want to edit, elaborate more deeply on, shorten or rephrase, you simply give me a hint. I’ll do the work.
- You send me photos I should encorporate.
- I formate everything into a beautiful book and send it to you.
Want to know whether you want me to write your story for you?
Get in touch with me. In a 15 minute call we will discover whether I’m the person to write down your birth experienes.
I am not a psychologist or a psychotherapist. If you are suffering from a traumatic birth experience, I can help you write your expriences down. I can help you get all the details onto paper. Please make sure, though, that you have a professional therapist by your side, too!